So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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