yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
