nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize