i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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