If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
