Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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