i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
