Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
