I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize