I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
