My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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