Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
