if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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