I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
