Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
