i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
