ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
