I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They took my balls.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
