I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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