did you get engaged???
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize