just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
