i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
