i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
