I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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