So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
