i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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