bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
