"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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