Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
