you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
