'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
