Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So much rum. So many feels.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
