You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize