Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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