You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
