just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
