dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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