I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize