he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm too high and old for this...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
