Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
