Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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