And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
