You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize