i permit you to call me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
