Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
