the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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