Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize