Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize