piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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