he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
