you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
