a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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