I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she smelled like a LAN party
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
