It's Friday. Sex?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
