We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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