Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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