Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
