don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
