I just made out with a guy for $7.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize