just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
