Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
