Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
