I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
