he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
