There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
