Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
