I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
