a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
