Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
