You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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